Teyrhune-To Protect My King

Leolseth leaned against the wall outside the conference hall and chewed over the fact that Lailsund had posted him in the hallway.  He wasn’t concerned for the king’s safety with Uldermond at his side, but the implications of the king’s decision said much about the boy’s annoyance with him.  In the weeks preceding the queen’s death, the only time Lailsund had asked for privacy was when he would visit his mother.  Since her death and Merna’s appearance at the castle, he had only asked Leo to stand outside during his tutoring sessions with the strange, plump woman from Daekarr.  

Leo had watched the king’s growing frustration with him over his insistence that the boy should eat, his assurances that he was there to listen if he needed to talk, and his constant, watchful gaze.  He wouldn’t admit to himself why it felt like a knife twisting in his heart when he thought of how the gaze that once made the king blush and fidget, now made the boy angry.  He missed the boy’s smile, as rare as it was, and part of Leo loved that he was often the cause of it.  The idea that Lailsund was unhappy with him troubled him deeply and left him wondering if staying in his position was the best thing for the king.

The door of the conference hall opening made him jerk to attention.  The lords talked excitedly as they turned and walked down the hallway of the palace, and Leo had to fight the grin that played at the corners of his mouth as he listened to them jabbering on about how the boy was far more capable than they had thought.  Leo had never doubted that Lailsund would impress them and he wished he could have been there to see him put the pompous idiots in their place.

He stepped to the opened door and saw the king’s pained expression and Uldermond pulling out a chair to take a seat next to him.  Leo quietly pushed the door closed and took his place against the wall to wait for Lailsund to call for him.  At least, he hoped he would call for him.  Maybe I was… too pushy.  He thought back to the days after his mother and sister’s deaths and wondered how he would’ve felt to have someone there who did the things he did for Lailsund.  Would it have frustrated me, too? He sighed and shook his head.

The door opened again, and Uldermond gave him a slight smile as Leo straightened and watched questioningly.  “He’s tired.  You should try to convince him to rest a while before he goes to see Merna.”

Leo winced and let his eyes fall to the floor.  “He doesn’t seem to care for my opinion of late, Uldermond.  It seems the more I try to help him, the more he resists.”

The man chuckled, “You may find him more receptive to your suggestions from now on. He can be as stubborn as his mother, but he will come around in time.  Grief is a difficult emotion to work through and it can make people lash out at those who care the most for them.  Don’t give up on him, Leolseth, I do not think he could survive this without you.”

Leo searched the man’s face for any sign of falsehood and sighed with relief when he found only genuine assurance.  “I’d better get in there and convince him to listen to reason, then.”  Uldermond nodded, turning to leave.  Leo steeled his resolve before walking through the door.

His eyes fell on the king as Lailsund stood from his chair, and Leo’s heart nearly stopped when the boy went limp and hit the floor.  “Lailsund!”  He choked on his name as he threw his body forward into a run.  His knees collided with the unyielding stone, and he slid to a stop beside the unconscious boy, lifting him into his arms.

Uldermond charged into the room, “What happened?”

“He collapsed when he stood,” his voice shook, and he had to fight the lump rising in his throat.

“Get him into bed.  I’ll get the physician.”  Uldermond spun and sprinted from the room.

Leo stood, surprised at how insubstantial the king was.  His frown deepened, and he hurried from the conference hall.  The eyes of the palace guards followed him through the halls as he rushed toward the royal apartments.  He sprinted up the stairs two at a time, and the posted guard to the apartment watched worriedly as he held the door open for Leo and the unconscious king.  Leo swept through the antechamber and his small room, then into Lailsund’s bedchamber.

A maid let out a startled cry as the door flew open but hurried to the bed to pull down the covers for the king.  “Is there anything I can get him?”

“No.  You are dismissed.”  He placed Lailsund into bed, removed his shoes, and pulled the covers over him as the maid bowed and hurried from the room.  

Leo settled in a chair beside the bed, his mind a jumble of scenarios and apprehensions.  He knew the king’s condition was likely caused by his poor diet and lack of sleep, but he couldn’t help but worry that something had slipped past him and Uldermond.  His heart lurched at the thought of losing him, and his eyes fell upon Lailsund’s unconscious form.  The boy was too pale, his eyes sunken with dark circles accentuating them.  The only color was the scuffed skin and darkening bruise forming at his hairline where his head had struck the stone floor.  Even his lips had lost their rosy hue, looking almost as pallid as his face.  If it weren’t for the steady rise and fall of his chest, Leo would have thought the king was dead.  He felt his throat tighten and blinked away the moisture threatening to spill from the corners of his eyes.

He leapt from his chair, hand unconsciously falling to the hilt of his sword as the door flew open.  The physician didn’t even spare him a glance as he rushed passed him to the king.  Leo let his hand fall to his side and backed away to give the man room to do his work. “Wait outside!  I’ll call for you when I’m done.”  Leo flinched at the man’s harsh tone and opened his mouth to argue, but a hand on his shoulder stopped his response.

“Come.  We can do nothing more for him,” the quiver in Uldermond’s voice made Leo’s stomach squirm as the large man led him from the room and closed the door.  Leo felt his chest tighten and his whole body shook, his knees weak and wobbly and his chest heaving.  His head spun, and he couldn’t seem to get enough air into his lungs. “Leolseth, calm yourself.  He will be fine.”

The man’s words seemed to come from far away, and Leo felt his mouth open and a voice he hardly recognized spilled from his tongue, “What if he… We could’ve missed something.  He could… I can’t…”  Large arms swallowed him, and it took him a moment to realize what had happened.

“He will be fine,” Uldermond pulled him to arm’s length.  “That boy has too much of his mother in him not to be.”  He smirked at Leo’s shocked expression. “Your father’s not much of a hugger, is he?”

Leo cleared his throat and let the shock fade from his face, “You could say that.” Most of the panic had faded at the unexpected embrace, the shock winning out over the unfamiliar grip of dread and fear.  It had been years since he had felt the sting of it, like tendrils wrapping around his chest and stealing his ability to breathe, think clearly, and move his body.  He pushed the memory of that night far from his mind, refusing to let it surface. Not now.  Embarrassment clouded his features, “I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have allowed myself—”

Uldermond’s chuckle interrupted him, “…to care?”  He allowed himself another chuckle as the boy’s mouth fell open, “It is not a bad thing to care for your charge, Leolseth.   Lailsund is a unique and sweet boy.  It warms my heart to see your love for him.”

Heat flooded his face and his ears burned, “That’s not—”

“Deny it if you wish, but in my experience, life is too short and too dark to run from the gift of mutual attraction.  I know you see the way he looks at you, even when he’s stealing a glance behind his books.  I’ve watched you smile at his blushes, his nervous tension when you move closer to him or lean over him to tease him playfully about his books, and his reactions to your veiled flirting.  I recognize all too well the look you give him on the rare occasions he’s focused on other things.”  

Leo let his eyes fall to his boots, jaw clenched, and Uldermond continued, “I cannot tell you what to do.  It is your life to live, but Lailsund has few things in life that bring him joy.  There will be fewer still the longer he sits on that throne.  If you truly care for him, Leolseth, you should consider telling him how you feel. He will never be the one to tell you. He doesn’t believe you would return his affections, and he is too afraid of losing his friendship with you to say anything.”

He scoffed and looked up at Uldermond skeptically, “And you think encouraging the king to break the law would make things easier for him?”

Uldermond gave a tired sigh, “I’m not telling you to flaunt it for the entire kingdom to see.  He needs real friendships and connections with people, and honesty is a part of that.”

Leo felt his throat and chest constrict, “I can’t, Uldermond.  I don’t even know what this is between us.  I’ve never…” he sighed and let his eyes fall back to the floor, “I joke around and I flirt, but… in the end, I just can’t.”

“Have you ever asked yourself why?”

Leo’s head snapped up as he exclaimed, “Ha!  I know why.  I’ve always known why.  Anytime I have ever considered moving past flirting with a guy I see my father’s gloved fist ready to make contact with my face or the whip he’d be more than willing to flog me with until I was near death.  I’m no fool, Uldermond.  He’s the reason I’ve locked part of myself away, and as much as I may want to, I can’t bring myself to turn my back on him.  Lailsund is…” he felt his face heat up as he started again, quietly, “He’s more than a friend to me, I know that.  I want more, but…”

“You’re afraid,” the man finished sympathetically.

He shook his head, “Not just for me, Uldermond.  If I tell him and I can’t break away from my father’s influence… I can’t hurt Lailsund like that.  I won’t. Besides, his first duty is to the kingdom, and the best way to keep him safe from his enemies within the kingdom is not to give them an excuse to execute him.”

Uldermond gave the boy a weak smile, “You are a good man, Leolseth.  I hope you don’t come to regret your decision.”

The door to the king’s bedchamber opened, and both men jerked to attention as the physician exited, closing the door behind him.  He settled an angry glare at the two men that softened at the looks of concern as they awaited his diagnosis.  “He is alright.  He’s suffering from acute exhaustion and should rest for several days.  He is not to leave his bedchamber for any reason, is that understood?”  He let his ire return with the rhetorical question.  He let his shoulders drop as he asked, “Has he slept at all since…”

Leo shook his head, “He dozes sometimes, only to wake soon after in tears.”

“Why did you not send for me?  I could have given him something to help with sleep.”

He gave the physician a helpless look, “I tried but he forbade it.  I’ve spent the last week begging him to see you and to eat something—”

“He’s not eating, either?” The man let out a sharp exhale, plopped his large bag on a nearby table, and rummaged through it while muttering under his breath. Leo caught a few words of his monologue and couldn’t help but smile, “… of all the… ungrateful, stubborn family… will be the death of us all.”  He found what he was searching for and jabbed a small bottle toward Leo who promptly took it. “Put three drops in his water a half hour before each meal and six drops before bed each night.  If you must keep it a secret from him, do so, although the dosage at night may be noticeable.  It will make him a little groggy during the day for the first week but under the circumstances, he needs his rest and a little extra sleep would do him some good.  It should also increase his appetite but watch him closely to be sure he doesn’t eat too much right now.  His body isn’t used to much food and overeating could make him sick.  That bottle should last several weeks, and it will help him settle into a healthy routine.  Call me immediately if he gets worse or refuses to follow instructions. I will not lose another member of this family to illness.”  He grabbed his bag and swept from the room without another glance at the men.

Uldermond chuckled as the man had to visibly stop himself from slamming the door on his way out.  He turned back to Leo and pointed at the bottle, “I think keeping that a secret would be wise unless he questions you about it.”

“Yes, it seems he will do anything but take care of himself.”

“I will go smooth things over with Merna and reschedule the king’s obligations for next week.  You get some rest and keep a wary eye on Lailsund. Romulus and I will stay in the castle tonight.  If you have need of either of us, just send word.”

Leo gave him a grateful nod, and the man turned and left him alone in the small room.  He eyed his bed for a moment but thought better of it.  I’ll never sleep so far away with him in his current state.  He let out a sigh, tucked the medicine into his pocket, and opened the door to the king’s bedchamber.  He settled into the chair beside Lailsund, throwing his legs over the arm of the chair and pulling out his book.  From his new position, he could read and keep an eye on the sleeping boy with ease. Only, he couldn’t concentrate on the words or keep his eyes on the pages.  They kept wandering from the book to Lailsund’s sleeping face.

Uldermond’s words echoed in his head, and Leo sighed in contemplation.  What would it be like to live without fear of repercussions?  Leo knew from that first day in the library that Lailsund had a crush on him.  He wasn’t sure why he had flirted with the boy, other than it was what he always did when someone was interested in him.  He really should have drawn a line at such antics considering Lailsund was his charge and his king, but he loved seeing the boy’s cheeks flush and his bottom limp pinched nervously between his teeth.  It made Leo’s heart flutter in his chest and brought a genuine smile to his face.

Weeks had passed, and Leo found himself more captivated by Lailsund, craving his smile and wanting to learn more about the boy. The young king was so much more than the naïve kid Leo’s father and so many of the royals thought him to be.  He was intelligent, mature, kind, respectful, understanding, shy, quiet, but commanding when he needed to be.  He was strong and brave, even in the face of great loss and loneliness.  Leo admired him for those attributes and even accepted the boy’s shortcomings of depression, anxiety, and propensity for isolation.  He knew it wasn’t easy to rule a country, especially under the circumstances Lailsund had risen to power, and yet the boy had done well in his position and surprised many of his detractors.

All those things had enamored him with the younger boy, and Leo had spent many nights lying awake in bed with the same thoughts running through his head that plagued him now.  Only before, he didn’t have the added weight of Uldermond’s encouragements, the fear from seeing Lailsund collapse, or the memory of the boy cradled against his chest.

Thinking of the latter made his heart stutter against his ribs and his cheeks heat up, and Leo winced at the sudden, intense longing to press his lips gently against Lailsund’s.  His heart hiccupped again before thundering loudly in his chest.  No! Stop it, Leo.  This will only end in his death.  He could never allow himself to do that, nor should he be envisioning the feel of the king’s soft lips against his own.

Leo let out a defeated sigh and let his head fall against the back of the plush chair.  “I swear that I will always protect you, Lailsund, even from myself.  You deserve better than a boy who can’t stand up to his own father,” his soft whisper barely audible to his own ears as he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep.